It's Alive!

I've been lazy on the cooking front, what with my first cold of 2012 knocking me out of commission for several days and The Husband's bi-weekly pump-induced Bed Rest keeping me busy, but there have been some exciting developments on the vegetable front.

We have seedlings!

 

Yes, things are actually growing!  The lettuces are peeking out, as are the tiny wild rocket sprouts next to them.

The pepper cress has officially gone doolally, which meant I was able to harvest some to add to my scrambled eggs and toast this morning.  I felt so pioneering!

The interior beans are holding strong; I just have to figure out how to train them to climb up the fake trellis I constructed out of cooling racks and picture wire.

The tomatoes are also making a strong showing.  I'm still not sure how I'm going to manage these post-transplantation, but I'll cross that tasty bridge (we're on a bridge, Charlie!) when I get there.  First, though, I have to keep the cat from eating them.  He's already beheaded at least one tomato sproutling (along with a bean stalk).  We contemplated getting him some cat grass, but we don't really want to encourage him to throw up all over the place (even more so than usual).

After much fretting and ruining of heating pads, the some of the peppers have finally woken up, too.

Overall, this little experiment in self-sufficiency is progressing nicely.  The cooking greens (cavolo nero, Swiss chard, kale) have all finally sprouted, as have the beets and peas and rat-tail radishes (the vines of which can apparently grow to several feet tall, so that is requires some frantic, not-yet-figured-out modifications). 

I'm also growing some potatoes in an old trash can.  It actually appears to maybe be working, against all sense of reason and propriety. 

Well, something is growing in there.  Let's hope it's just potatoes.

And not Cthulhu.

Googling.

The Husband wishes that I point this out, so here goes:  Apparently, the most common search terms that bring people to this humble blog (apart from "life in the dessert"), are "philip glass el diablo," which is the second most-popular result on Google and takes you to this post.

For those of you who are now brought to this post:  Welcome!  The Husband would like you to know that he really likes Philip Glass.  I sometimes confuse Philip Glass with Sufjan Stevens (musically, not visually—they look very different), but I am getting much better at that.  Also, we saw his (Philip's, not Sufjan's) opera Satyagraha a little while ago and it was very good.  Especially if you watch it in a movie theater while eating quesadillas (me) and wearing sweatpants (The Husband).  I got a little sleepy during Act III, but I blame the quesadillas.

Also, for those of you looking for the actual exchange from The Simpsons (season 14, episode 18, Dude, Where's My Ranch, which is coincidentally where I first learned about Level 5 vegans), here you go:

David Byrne:

Excuse me, I've been researching indigenous music of Springfield and couldn't help but overhear your delightfully cruel hate song.

Carl:

David Byrne?

Moe:

Singer, artist, director, composer, Talking Head.

David Byrne:

And I used to wrestle under the name El Diablo.

Lenny:

I thought that was Phillip Glass.

David Byrne:

Yeah, he wishes.

Everybody hates Ned Flanders!  And now you know why I don't eat anything that casts a shadow.

2012: The Year of the Vegetable

...or at least the Year of the Carrot.

Yes, gentle readers, I have started off 2012 on an orange foot, having become enamored of a roast carrot salad that I have made —no joke— at least four times since the new year began, and I plan on making it again tonight.  Each time I've tweaked things slightly, but at its heart lies delicious, delicious carrots.  The Husband can tell you about how, after I first cooked these carrots, I wouldn't stop raving about them.  "They are the BEST carrots I've ever made," I'd swoon.  "Seriously: THE GREATEST."  I'd bring them up randomly, in conversations that had nothing to do with carrots or vegetables or food; The Husband would mention some depressing article he'd read, or start talking about something sports-related, and I'd chime in with "Remember those awesome carrots I made?  Man.  Good stuff."  I even started babbling about them to one of the vendors at the farmers' market, who seemed both intrigued and frightened.  When I eventually got around to making this salad for The Husband, he declared it to the best thing he's ever eaten, apparently supplanting the wee stuffed peppers of yesteryear.

The funny thing about this newfound infatuation is that I don't even like carrots.  I keep buying them because they are Good For Me, but then I usually just panic and never use them.  Apart from the odd grating in a salad, I can't eat them raw, and I can make only so much mirepoix for soup before life goes from souper to...OK, all I can come up with here is some variant of "pooper," which is too cheap a joke even for me, so feel free to substitute your own, invariably better, play on words, unless you are 11-years old, The Husband, or one of The Husband's friends, in which case, YOU'RE WELCOME that I sullied this fine blog with a lame poop joke.

The basic idea for these carrots comes from Jamie Oliver, whose method for cooking all manner of root vegetables (parboiling, then roasting) I have adopted wholeheartedly.  It also takes advantage of Arizona's glorious citrus season, which is currently kicking into gear and which I adore — as much I as love snow and cold weather, there is something sublime about walking home from the farmers' market, while enjoying 60º temperatures and a just-picked orange, in the middle of January.  Oh, PHX: you would be so much better if you were properly inhabitable for more than four months of the year!

To make the basic version of this salad, get yourself some good carrots; I like the short, stubby, pale orange ones that probably have a fancy name that I do not know, but any carrot would work (this cooking method also lends itself well to beets and I imagine things like parsnips and turnips as well).  Try to use carrots that are all roughly the same size, or cut them into equal-ish pieces, so that everything cooks more evenly.  Boil your carrots in some salted water until tender, probably 10 minutes or so, depending on size.  While the carrots are cooking, preheat the oven to 400ºF.

Also while the carrots are cooking, get started on making the carrot dressing.  In a mortar and pestle (or food processor), bash up a large pinch each of cumin seeds and black mustard seeds, along with a small pinch of salt and pinch of Aleppo pepper (or any dried chile) to taste.  Once those are finely ground, add a clove of garlic and a tablespoon of fresh thyme leaves, then mix up into a paste.  Pour in a couple of tablespoons of olive oil and a tablespoonish of vinegar (a light one, like white balsamic) and stir up.  Once the carrots are done, drain and dump into a large bowl.  While the carrots are still hot, pour in the dressing and mix, making sure all the carrots get nicely coated, then put everything into one side of a baking dish (making sure to get all of the flavorful dressing in as well).  In the other half of the tray, place a halved grapefruit, orange, or other sweetish citrus, then bang the whole thing into the oven to roast.  This should take another 10 minutes, but you know you're golden when the carrots start to brown and caramelize a bit.

While the carrots are in the oven, gather up the rest of the salad parts, which include:

• one handful of washed and drained arugula leaves
• one-half an avocado, coarsely diced
• two small slices of baguette (or other good, crusty bread) toasted/grilled and rubbed with a cut garlic clove, then torn into pieces

Once the carrots are done, leave them to cool and (carefully!) juice the roasted grapefruit/orange/whatever.  To the juice, add about an equal amount of olive oil and  a tablespoon of fruity honey, then mix.  (This will make FAR more dressing than you need, but it keeps well in the fridge in a closed container and is excellent on regular salads.)  Lightly dress the arugula, to taste, then place at the bottom of a bowl.  Add the avocado and carrots, and top with the garlic bread crisps.  Mix up, add more dressing if you like, and enjoy!

Later iterations benefited from the addition of goat cheese, toasted pepitas, pomegranate seeds, matchsticked black radishes, crispy cranberry beans, and/or red/black quinoa.  The main thing to keep in mind, here, is texture: the carrots and avocado will all have a very similar mouthfeel, so to keep things from getting too mushy, be sure to balance them out with toothsome foods, like the crispy bread or crunchy vegetables.

Also, I suppose 2012 could legitimately be considered Year of the Vegetable, because it is the year that I finally got around to attempting to grow some vegetables of my own.  The Door to Nowhere in our bedroom is guarded by a metal railing, from which I have hung several planters that may, Providence willing, become food.

I am only marginally optimistic about this, given the constraints of location and sunshine (our windows face the inner courtyard, which blocks a fair amount of sun: good at helping keep the apartment cool in the summer, but not-so-good for germinating seedlings), but we shall see what happens.

If nothing else, it gave me a good reason to go to Home Depot, which I love because all the tools and things make me feel super productive and like I could make anything.  Which would be true, if I actually had space for such things.

Like a house.  Not a one-bedroom apartment that I don't own and can't actually make changes to.

And with that, I leave you with the brilliant observation of Mr. Mitchell Hedberg:

I went to the Home Depot the other day, which was unnecessary... I need to go to the Apartment Depot, which is just a big warehouse with people standing around saying "hey, we ain't gotta fix shit!"

Renters, unite!


(Note: the faint red handprints along the side of the Door to Nowhere are not blood, nor were they left by ghosts of murdered children who haunt our apartment.  I hope.)